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If you left a relationship feeling like you no longer recognize yourself — second-guessing your memory, apologizing by reflex, unsure what you even like anymore — you may be recovering from narcissistic abuse. The term describes a repeating pattern of psychological control: idealization at the start, then escalating criticism, gaslighting, isolation from friends and family, and unpredictable swings between warmth and punishment. Recovery is absolutely possible, and it usually moves faster with a counsellor who works specifically with this pattern. In Vancouver, Samuel Ezzatilord, PhD, RCC, CCC…

Insomnia and nightmares often outlast trauma treatment and need their own targeted care. What actually works for veterans, RCMP members and first responders in BC — and who pays for it.

Burnout is often described as stress, overload, or working too much. But many people who experience burnout simply aren't doing too much. They’ve been carrying too much emotionally, often for a very long time. If you’re feeling burned out, you might notice a deep fatigue that rest alone doesn’t fix. Tasks that once felt manageable now feel heavy. Motivation fades. Irritability or numbness quietly replaces engagement. You may even wonder, What happened to me ? From the outside, it can look like exhaustion. On the inside, something more personal is usually happening. Burnout often emerges when…

A traumatic experience is defined as an experience that leaves us with feelings of "horror, helplessness or hopelessness" (Herman, 1992). It's an experience during which our system is overwhelmed. It's generally an abnormal situation and results in us creating defenses or ways of being that get us through such an experience. Thank goodness for those defenses. Without them we'd be left feeling completely stuck or hopeless. But after the traumatic event has passed and we are safe we may notice that we are still exhibiting some of those defenses. They are keeping us stuck or getting in the way of…

As trauma, trauma symptoms, and trauma therapy are showing up on social media more often, dissociation is becoming a more common term that people are recognizing in themselves and starting to talk about. Here’s some information on why it’s an important symptom to understand and to treat. First, how do you say it? Dis-So-She-A-Shun Some people add an extra A to make: Dis- A-So-She-A-Shun Let’s leave out that extra A. What is Dissociation? Dissociation is truly the opposite of association. It’s a disconnection. Dissociation is feeling like you’re not aware of what’s going on around you. Everyone…

When you love someone with narcissistic traits, it’s natural to wonder if they can ever change. Narcissism often involves patterns of behavior that seem deeply ingrained, such as a need for admiration, lack of empathy, and difficulty accepting responsibility. These traits can cause significant strain in relationships, leaving partners feeling hurt, confused, and hopeful for change. But is change truly possible for a narcissistic partner? This post explores the realities of narcissistic change, what it looks like, and what you can expect if you’re in this situation. Narcissism exists on a…

Usually, two is company, and there’s a crowd, except, in couples counselling, there’s always “a shadow of a third person,” a phrase of Esther Perel’s (Perel, 2016), in every couple’s problem, which, in family systems theory, is called an emotional triangle. Shadows can come from the past, often those of parents or siblings, when a partner unwittingly imitates them when emotions run high, just as a partner might have related to their family (or vice versa!) as a child. Sometimes, living people cast the shadow. Maybe the shadow is your child’s when your partner takes their side when they want…

We live in a world that celebrates speed. We demand faster progress, faster responses, and faster healing. Even our self-care often comes with an undertone of urgency: “fix,” “optimize,” “get back to normal.” Our bodies don't move at the pace of urgency. They move at the pace of trust. In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that the moments of real transformation rarely happen in a rush. They happen in the quiet spaces, when someone slows down enough to feel what’s here right now. It happens when the breath deepens, when the eyes soften, and when the body begins to recognize safety…

Have you ever noticed how your body tenses up when you’re stressed — maybe your shoulders creep toward your ears, or your stomach feels tight? That’s your nervous system doing its best to protect you. Somatic Experiencing (SE) is all about helping your body release that stored tension so you can feel calmer and more grounded. Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, SE is a body-based approach to healing trauma and stress. Instead of focusing only on talking about what happened, it gently guides you to notice what’s happening inside your body right now — sensations, breath, muscle tension, even…

The most recent AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) textbook includes this phrase in its title: transforming suffering into flourishing. AEDP is a therapeutic modality that not only wants to alleviate the negative effects of psychological distress, but believes that as humans, we need opportunities to thrive in our lives, existing as our full, expansive, selves. We live in a world where much of mental health has become about managing symptoms or learning tools and tips to reduce the experience of anxiety or depression. For those of us who work as AEDP therapists, our goals…