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Trauma does not always look the way people expect it to. For some people, trauma may be connected to a specific event. For others, it can develop through repeated experiences over time, including childhood adversity, difficult relationships, emotional neglect, abuse, loss, or prolonged periods of feeling unsafe. The effects of trauma can sometimes continue long after the experience itself has ended. You may notice anxiety, difficulty trusting others, emotional overwhelm, numbness, irritability, perfectionism, people-pleasing, shame, or a persistent feeling that you need to stay alert. As a…

Struggling With Self Esteem? Understanding the Parts of You That Do Not Feel Good Enough You can look confident on the outside and still spend a surprising amount of time wondering if you are good enough. Maybe you second guess yourself after conversations. Maybe you compare yourself to everyone around you. Maybe a small mistake can stay in your head for hours or even days. Maybe you accomplish something you have worked hard for, but instead of enjoying it, you immediately start thinking about what you should have done better. And sometimes you do not even realize how exhausting it is. You…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Burnout is often described as stress, overload, or working too much. But many people who experience burnout simply aren't doing too much. They’ve been carrying too much emotionally, often for a very long time. If you’re feeling burned out, you might notice a deep fatigue that rest alone doesn’t fix. Tasks that once felt manageable now feel heavy. Motivation fades. Irritability or numbness quietly replaces engagement. You may even wonder, What happened to me ? From the outside, it can look like exhaustion. On the inside, something more personal is usually happening. Burnout often emerges when…

A traumatic experience is defined as an experience that leaves us with feelings of "horror, helplessness or hopelessness" (Herman, 1992). It's an experience during which our system is overwhelmed. It's generally an abnormal situation and results in us creating defenses or ways of being that get us through such an experience. Thank goodness for those defenses. Without them we'd be left feeling completely stuck or hopeless. But after the traumatic event has passed and we are safe we may notice that we are still exhibiting some of those defenses. They are keeping us stuck or getting in the way of…

As trauma, trauma symptoms, and trauma therapy are showing up on social media more often, dissociation is becoming a more common term that people are recognizing in themselves and starting to talk about. Here’s some information on why it’s an important symptom to understand and to treat. First, how do you say it? Dis-So-She-A-Shun Some people add an extra A to make: Dis- A-So-She-A-Shun Let’s leave out that extra A. What is Dissociation? Dissociation is truly the opposite of association. It’s a disconnection. Dissociation is feeling like you’re not aware of what’s going on around you. Everyone…

When you love someone with narcissistic traits, it’s natural to wonder if they can ever change. Narcissism often involves patterns of behavior that seem deeply ingrained, such as a need for admiration, lack of empathy, and difficulty accepting responsibility. These traits can cause significant strain in relationships, leaving partners feeling hurt, confused, and hopeful for change. But is change truly possible for a narcissistic partner? This post explores the realities of narcissistic change, what it looks like, and what you can expect if you’re in this situation. Narcissism exists on a…

Usually, two is company, and there’s a crowd, except, in couples counselling, there’s always “a shadow of a third person,” a phrase of Esther Perel’s (Perel, 2016), in every couple’s problem, which, in family systems theory, is called an emotional triangle. Shadows can come from the past, often those of parents or siblings, when a partner unwittingly imitates them when emotions run high, just as a partner might have related to their family (or vice versa!) as a child. Sometimes, living people cast the shadow. Maybe the shadow is your child’s when your partner takes their side when they want…

We live in a world that celebrates speed. We demand faster progress, faster responses, and faster healing. Even our self-care often comes with an undertone of urgency: “fix,” “optimize,” “get back to normal.” Our bodies don't move at the pace of urgency. They move at the pace of trust. In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that the moments of real transformation rarely happen in a rush. They happen in the quiet spaces, when someone slows down enough to feel what’s here right now. It happens when the breath deepens, when the eyes soften, and when the body begins to recognize safety…