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Do people call you a perfectionist? Are you not sure if that word fits? Often the work perfectionist connotes the idea of being "perfect." So, many people don't relate to the concept if they were not a straight A student. In theory, however, perfectionism falls under the "anxiety" umbrella. Just like OCD or tics or social anxiety are under that umbrella so is perfectionism. This is because perfectionism is a fear. It's a fear of failing. Clients don't often present in office for "perfectionism." What they are coming in for is unrelenting tension. Or dread at going to the office. Or, headaches…

Have you ever felt a prickle of irritation when your therapist asks, “How does that make you feel? Where do you feel that in your body?” If so, you’re not alone. Many people feel frustrated when therapy seems to focus on emotion instead of quickly “fixing the problem.” But from a somatic therapy perspective, emotions are not a distraction: they’re often the most direct pathway to healing, clarity, and lasting change. Although focusing on emotion may feel like a detour, it’s often the fastest way to understand why your feelings feel so distressing and what they are actually trying to…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Have you ever had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, only to immediately question yourself? Maybe you noticed a change in someone's tone of voice. You walked into a room and could feel the tension before anyone said a word. You knew you were reaching your limit at a social gathering, but wondered if you were being antisocial. Or you had a strong feeling about a decision, only to talk yourself out of it. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe it's not a big deal. Everyone else seems fine. Why can't I just handle it? If you're a highly sensitive person (HSP)…

If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may be especially familiar with the exhaustion of constantly thinking about other people’s needs. You notice when someone’s tone changes. You sense tension in a room before anyone says there is a problem. You might feel uncomfortable when someone is disappointed, frustrated, or upset with you—and find yourself working hard to make those feelings go away. Perhaps you say yes when you want to say no. You avoid difficult conversations. You apologize automatically. You change your mind, your preferences, or your plans to accommodate others. And afterward…

Focus is not disappearing, it is Fragmenting For many people, focus no longer feels like a stable state. It feels temporary. Brief. Fragile. A task starts, then attention slips. Another tab opens. A message is checked. A new idea appears. The original task is still there, but it now feels heavier than it did a moment ago. This is often interpreted as distraction or lack of discipline. But underneath it is a more consistent pattern: attention is being pulled by a loop between effort, friction, and escape. The core mechanism: the friction–escape loop Attention tends to break at a predictable…

Work is a place of resource for many people. It gives us a sense of purpose, much needed structure, brain stimulation, contact with others, and income for our needs and wants. Work can also be stressful. That's ok too. Our systems can handle temporary stress, whether it is meeting a deadline or giving a scary presentation. It’s like running a 10km race. We’ll be fine as long as we recover the next week. This kind of stress of challenge and then recovery is healthy. There are two situations where work stress can become unhealthy. (1) The first is when work is relentlessly under-staffed and over…

Understanding The Body’s Protective Systems Protective systems in the body can manifest in multiple ways, such as anxiety, avoidance, and people-pleasing. Simply put, this is your nervous system’s way of keeping you safe. We often think of anxiety, avoidance, shutting down, or people-pleasing as problems to fix. But what if these responses aren’t actually problems at all? What if they’re protection? This blog is about helping you learn how to understand and work with these responses in therapy. What Are Protective Systems in the Nervous System? Your nervous system is always working in the…