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Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Have you ever had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, only to immediately question yourself? Maybe you noticed a change in someone's tone of voice. You walked into a room and could feel the tension before anyone said a word. You knew you were reaching your limit at a social gathering, but wondered if you were being antisocial. Or you had a strong feeling about a decision, only to talk yourself out of it. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe it's not a big deal. Everyone else seems fine. Why can't I just handle it? If you're a highly sensitive person (HSP)…

If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may be especially familiar with the exhaustion of constantly thinking about other people’s needs. You notice when someone’s tone changes. You sense tension in a room before anyone says there is a problem. You might feel uncomfortable when someone is disappointed, frustrated, or upset with you—and find yourself working hard to make those feelings go away. Perhaps you say yes when you want to say no. You avoid difficult conversations. You apologize automatically. You change your mind, your preferences, or your plans to accommodate others. And afterward…

Why Willpower Alone Does Not Create Healthy Habits Many people want to build healthy habits and believe it’s a matter of discipline. If they fail to stay consistent, they assume something is wrong with them. Willpower is limited and easily depleted. Modern life accelerates this exhaustion. Constant notifications, endless choices, and a culture that rewards multitasking drain attention and focus. Expecting willpower to overcome these forces is extremely challenging. Healthy habits succeed when they require less decision making, not more. When habits depend on motivation alone, consistency…

Work is a place of resource for many people. It gives us a sense of purpose, much needed structure, brain stimulation, contact with others, and income for our needs and wants. Work can also be stressful. That's ok too. Our systems can handle temporary stress, whether it is meeting a deadline or giving a scary presentation. It’s like running a 10km race. We’ll be fine as long as we recover the next week. This kind of stress of challenge and then recovery is healthy. There are two situations where work stress can become unhealthy. (1) The first is when work is relentlessly under-staffed and over…

Understanding The Body’s Protective Systems Protective systems in the body can manifest in multiple ways, such as anxiety, avoidance, and people-pleasing. Simply put, this is your nervous system’s way of keeping you safe. We often think of anxiety, avoidance, shutting down, or people-pleasing as problems to fix. But what if these responses aren’t actually problems at all? What if they’re protection? This blog is about helping you learn how to understand and work with these responses in therapy. What Are Protective Systems in the Nervous System? Your nervous system is always working in the…

Many people who come to therapy describe the same frustrating pattern. They care about their work. They care about their responsibilities. They want to move forward. And yet they keep putting things off. Procrastination is often interpreted as laziness or lack of discipline. In reality, it is much more often a stress response. Understanding what is happening in the brain can reduce shame and help us approach change more effectively. Task Avoidance and the Stress Response (Why You Keep Putting Things Off) Your brain has two systems that are constantly interacting. One system is responsible for…

On my website, I share the story of how I became a counsellor and how the roots of my career go back to elementary school! In this blog post, I’d like to share more details about what this career means to me, and why I believe I was meant to do this work. I will do so through the lens of gratitude, which this work and my clients continually inspire in me. The language I use here is poetic because I’m a poet at heart, and I tend to express the most meaningful experiences in my life in this way. I am grateful, firstly, for my use of empathy with clients. When I can enter into another’s frame of…

The start of a new year often arrives with a quiet pressure. That pressure is around that the issues from the past year need to be resolved and this year is the year it finally happens! Even if you don’t consciously buy into the idea of New Year’s resolutions, it can still feel as though January brings an unspoken expectation to reset, improve, or finally “get it together.” For adults with ADHD, this time of year can stir up a complicated mix of hope and apprehension. There is the hope that this year might be different, paired with the familiar worry that it won’t be. Many people with ADHD…