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Usually, two is company, and there’s a crowd, except, in couples counselling, there’s always “a shadow of a third person,” a phrase of Esther Perel’s (Perel, 2016), in every couple’s problem, which, in family systems theory, is called an emotional triangle. Shadows can come from the past, often those of parents or siblings, when a partner unwittingly imitates them when emotions run high, just as a partner might have related to their family (or vice versa!) as a child. Sometimes, living people cast the shadow. Maybe the shadow is your child’s when your partner takes their side when they want…

You might be thinking, “What a strange name for a clinical practice!” If so, I wouldn’t blame you, especially if you’ve ever gotten off on the wrong foot with a crow! Please allow me to answer the obvious question, then: what’s so special about crows? Unquestionably, these birds are unusually temperamental, territorial, and even hold lasting grudges that seem absurd from our point of view. Still, despite these traits, crows are fascinatingly intelligent, have a long and complex history with humanity, and enjoy a positive reputation in some cultures. As someone who loves paradoxes, the paradox…

The start of a new year often arrives with a quiet pressure. That pressure is around that the issues from the past year need to be resolved and this year is the year it finally happens! Even if you don’t consciously buy into the idea of New Year’s resolutions, it can still feel as though January brings an unspoken expectation to reset, improve, or finally “get it together.” For adults with ADHD, this time of year can stir up a complicated mix of hope and apprehension. There is the hope that this year might be different, paired with the familiar worry that it won’t be. Many people with ADHD…

As a somatic grief counsellor, I know in my body and mind that grief is unpredictable and shows up for us in the classic moments of a special holiday or date and also in the normal moments of daily life. It could be the smell of a blanket, someone’s voice, the quiet of sitting together, the taste of a soup or a feeling you have that awakens the memories. The rhythm of ordinary days continues even when remembering or experiencing a goodbye. In my own life, loss ebbed and flowed. I carry the grief of losing a sibling, my father, my cousin, grandparents, friends, and people I’ve walked alongside…

Every New Year we are flooded with motivation. This is the year we will wake up earlier eat better exercise more work harder rest more and somehow do it all without burning out. And yet by February many of those resolutions quietly disappear. The issue is rarely a lack of desire to change. More often it is the way we approach change. We Have Finite Energy and Time One of the biggest misconceptions about New Year’s resolutions is the belief that we can simply add new habits to our lives without removing anything else. As if time and energy will expand just because the calendar changed. In…

For many adults with ADHD, overwhelm isn’t tied to one specific crisis. It’s not always a major deadline, a big life change, or a single stressful event. Instead, it’s the constant accumulation of small things. Emails unanswered, tasks half-started, appointments to book, decisions to make, messages to reply to, laundry to fold, forms to complete, plans to organize. Thoughts that won’t quiet down. Even on days when nothing objectively “bad” is happening, your nervous system can feel overloaded. And when that overwhelm sets in, it’s easy to start questioning yourself: Why does everything feel…

We live in a world that celebrates speed. We demand faster progress, faster responses, and faster healing. Even our self-care often comes with an undertone of urgency: “fix,” “optimize,” “get back to normal.” Our bodies don't move at the pace of urgency. They move at the pace of trust. In my work as a somatic therapist, I’ve learned that the moments of real transformation rarely happen in a rush. They happen in the quiet spaces, when someone slows down enough to feel what’s here right now. It happens when the breath deepens, when the eyes soften, and when the body begins to recognize safety…

There is a moment that happens in almost every romantic relationship. Something small occurs. A delayed text. A strange tone. A comment that lands in a way you did not expect. Suddenly your chest tightens and your thoughts start racing. You tell yourself you should not feel this upset, yet you feel it anyway. The person you care about suddenly feels distant and unfamiliar. Your mind starts filling in the blanks. Maybe they are losing interest. Maybe they are disappointed. Maybe they are going to leave. Maybe they are cheating. Why Trigger Feels So Big Triggers in romantic relationships are…

Have you ever noticed how your body tenses up when you’re stressed — maybe your shoulders creep toward your ears, or your stomach feels tight? That’s your nervous system doing its best to protect you. Somatic Experiencing (SE) is all about helping your body release that stored tension so you can feel calmer and more grounded. Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, SE is a body-based approach to healing trauma and stress. Instead of focusing only on talking about what happened, it gently guides you to notice what’s happening inside your body right now — sensations, breath, muscle tension, even…

You know those nights when your mind just won’t shut off? You replay the same conversations, analyze what you should have said, and stall on decisions that don’t even seem that big. By the time you’ve thought through every scenario, you’re more exhausted than enlightened. Overthinking gives the illusion of control. The harder you try to “figure it out,” the deeper you sink into anxiety and doubt. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Overthinking is one of the most common reasons people start therapy. It’s exhausting, it keeps you stuck, and it can make even small decisions feel…