Blog

On my website, I share the story of how I became a counsellor and how the roots of my career go back to elementary school! In this blog post, I’d like to share more details about what this career means to me, and why I believe I was meant to do this work. I will do so through the lens of gratitude, which this work and my clients continually inspire in me. The language I use here is poetic because I’m a poet at heart, and I tend to express the most meaningful experiences in my life in this way. I am grateful, firstly, for my use of empathy with clients. When I can enter into another’s frame of…

A traumatic experience is defined as an experience that leaves us with feelings of "horror, helplessness or hopelessness" (Herman, 1992). It's an experience during which our system is overwhelmed. It's generally an abnormal situation and results in us creating defenses or ways of being that get us through such an experience. Thank goodness for those defenses. Without them we'd be left feeling completely stuck or hopeless. But after the traumatic event has passed and we are safe we may notice that we are still exhibiting some of those defenses. They are keeping us stuck or getting in the way of…

As trauma, trauma symptoms, and trauma therapy are showing up on social media more often, dissociation is becoming a more common term that people are recognizing in themselves and starting to talk about. Here’s some information on why it’s an important symptom to understand and to treat. First, how do you say it? Dis-So-She-A-Shun Some people add an extra A to make: Dis- A-So-She-A-Shun Let’s leave out that extra A. What is Dissociation? Dissociation is truly the opposite of association. It’s a disconnection. Dissociation is feeling like you’re not aware of what’s going on around you. Everyone…

Most of us have heard the phrase "live in the Now," but few of us are taught how to do it when faced with the relentless noise of the modern mind. Practicing the Power of Now is a therapy group involving a structured, six-week immersion into the core teachings of Eckhart Tolle, designed to bridge the gap between reading a book and actually shifting your state of consciousness. Here is a session-by-session breakdown of the themes, inquiries, and practices we explore together. Phase 1: Identifying the "Thinker" Sessions 1 & 2 The journey begins by distinguishing between the "mental noise" of the…

When you love someone with narcissistic traits, it’s natural to wonder if they can ever change. Narcissism often involves patterns of behavior that seem deeply ingrained, such as a need for admiration, lack of empathy, and difficulty accepting responsibility. These traits can cause significant strain in relationships, leaving partners feeling hurt, confused, and hopeful for change. But is change truly possible for a narcissistic partner? This post explores the realities of narcissistic change, what it looks like, and what you can expect if you’re in this situation. Narcissism exists on a…

Do you work in the social services, teaching or health fields? Are you sometimes triggered by your client/student/patient? In the field of counselling it is well recognized that from time to time counsellors will be triggered by a client. Often it is because the client reminds them of someone in the counsellor's personal life or because the client is presenting with challenges that the counsellor is also working through. In these cases it is appropriate for the counsellor to seek supervision, which is a practice of consulting a more experienced counsellor to understand and work through the…

What Burnout Really Is Burnout is not just being tired. It is the exhaustion that builds when the demands placed on you consistently exceed your time, energy, and emotional capacity. It happens slowly, often without you noticing, until even simple tasks feel heavy and rest no longer restores you. Burnout is what happens when effort becomes constant and recovery disappears. You keep going, not because you feel capable, but because stopping feels impossible. What Burnout Feels Like Burnout changes how you experience daily life. You wake up already tired. Your mind feels busy but unfocused. Small…

Usually, two is company, and there’s a crowd, except, in couples counselling, there’s always “a shadow of a third person,” a phrase of Esther Perel’s (Perel, 2016), in every couple’s problem, which, in family systems theory, is called an emotional triangle. Shadows can come from the past, often those of parents or siblings, when a partner unwittingly imitates them when emotions run high, just as a partner might have related to their family (or vice versa!) as a child. Sometimes, living people cast the shadow. Maybe the shadow is your child’s when your partner takes their side when they want…

You might be thinking, “What a strange name for a clinical practice!” If so, I wouldn’t blame you, especially if you’ve ever gotten off on the wrong foot with a crow! Please allow me to answer the obvious question, then: what’s so special about crows? Unquestionably, these birds are unusually temperamental, territorial, and even hold lasting grudges that seem absurd from our point of view. Still, despite these traits, crows are fascinatingly intelligent, have a long and complex history with humanity, and enjoy a positive reputation in some cultures. As someone who loves paradoxes, the paradox…

The start of a new year often arrives with a quiet pressure. That pressure is around that the issues from the past year need to be resolved and this year is the year it finally happens! Even if you don’t consciously buy into the idea of New Year’s resolutions, it can still feel as though January brings an unspoken expectation to reset, improve, or finally “get it together.” For adults with ADHD, this time of year can stir up a complicated mix of hope and apprehension. There is the hope that this year might be different, paired with the familiar worry that it won’t be. Many people with ADHD…