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I'm not so much of a "New Year Resolutions" person. I'm more of a "Create a Life you Like and Live it Everyday" kind of person. People come in to my office any time of the year, January or otherwise, to work on being happier, being more confident, being healthier, and being braver. What do you like spending your day doing? Being in nature? Being in front of a computer? Playing with your kids? And what are you actually spending your time doing? Listening to others vent? Commiserating about how hard life is? Numbing out on your phone? It's ok to do things you really want to be doing. Really. And…

Have you ever been intensely frustrated by not know what is causing you to experience nagging and uncomfortable emotions, seemingly out of the blue? We have all experienced this scenario. We are having a reasonably good day, perhaps even relaxing with friends, when we are suddenly overwhelmed by unwanted negative thoughts or emotions. Something in our mental process has caused us to become “triggered” to a negative thought or feeling, that could take hours or days to recover from. Identifying the causes of these mental triggers is a crucial first step in managing one's mental health and…

I remember 10 years ago training in Internal Family Systems and using it for myself and for my clients. It wasn't a technique that was on many people's radar. But I found it very helpful personally as well as professionally. It was great to have a positive silver lining for all the parts of the clients that they were not fully proud of. It was great to have a compassion-based method that worked to help people be more present and themselves. And it helped to process trauma. In Internal Family Systems we are looking at the individual as a sum of parts. It's kind of like that movie, Inside Out…

Did you know that many people are helped by seeing a Counsellor while going through developmental changes? In our lifetime we experience many developmental periods such as: Going through Puberty. Transitioning to Adulthood. Moving in with a Partner. Becoming New Parents. Empty Nesting. Caring for Aging Parents. Transitioning to peri-menopause and menopause. Transitioning to Retirement. Preparing for Death and Dying. These times in our life can be full of learning and change and so part of that is exciting. However, the learning curve can be so steep that things start to feel overwhelming…

Do you notice you are thinking (and caring) too much about what others are doing? Do you change often change your behaviour due to the influence of others? Are you cutting off friends due to their differing beliefs or values? Do you let your parents' comments influence your opinion of your romantic partner? Enmeshment is a psychological term that describes a blurring, or lack of, boundaries between people. Many times it occurs in families. Adult children engage in behaviours they don't want to because of their feelings of guilt about what their parents will think of them. Having an opinion…

Break ups can be very hard. It is normal to experience feelings that change a lot. People describe an emotional "whiplash," with feelings changing every hour. You may miss her and romanticize what the relationship was. Then an hour later you may experience anger at her and remember all the bad parts of the relationship. This kind of whiplash is normal but can be uncomfortable. One activity that can help process through this grief in a more structured and comfortable way is the flashcard exercise. Get a ring of flashcards. On one side of the flashcard write something you miss about him. Maybe…

So, you have traits of ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder). Welcome! In recent months the number of people reporting traits of ADHD in my practice has increased considerably. While a clinical counsellor cannot diagnose ADHD (you'd want to see a GP, psychiatrist or psychologist for that) what they can do is support you in your journey and treat your symptoms (sometimes alongside another treatment provider). ADHD will affect one person very differently from another. Whether you have all of the traits of ADHD or just a few here are 3 examples of ways in which seeing a counsellor can…

Finding yourself ruminating? Thinking about people in a negative way? Or having critical thoughts about your own behaviour? Thinking on things is normal. But if you are ruminating for so much of the day that it is getting in the way of being able to complete daily tasks like focusing at work or school, exercising, parenting or putting time into your friendships or marriage then the ruminating might be worth treating. Come in and learn what is causing the increase in rumination. Perhaps it's a feeling of being wronged. Increasing our understanding of our own thoughts and behaviour helps reduce…

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) presents unique challenges for adults, often manifesting in difficulties with attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. While these core symptoms are typically managed through medication, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers an additional layer of support by addressing the broader life impairments caused by ADHD. Understanding Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a short-term, goal-oriented form of psychotherapy that acts like brain training for ADHD. The primary aim of CBT is not to treat the core symptoms of…

Being in pain, emotionally or relationally, is what draws many people to find a therapist. Currently, therapy is enjoying a cultural moment of popularity. You may have heard a version of “everyone needs therapy” or “therapy is for you if you have experienced childhood.” While mostly light-hearted, these prompts speak to those who notice pain in themselves and those around them. The Purpose Of A Process Group A process group is an unstructured, collaborative therapy. By joining a process group, you commit to bringing up what is going on for you and being present with others who are doing the…