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You might notice that at times, in particular with your partner, you just don't seem to connect well. Arguments that started out of nowhere, leave you feeling like you're spinning. When you're noticing a rupture after an argument, the way you try to reconnect or repair it and the way your friend or partner might try to do so, causes more miscommunication than you before you made this attempt. So disheartening! This is most likely a product of your early childhood experiences...of what happened to you. Whether you are aware or not, the way you were cared for and connected with your early…

Self-esteem can be summarized as how we feel about ourselves. It is a powerful force that shapes our lives in numerous ways, influencing our moods/feelings about ourselves, our effectiveness, relationships, and overall well-being. In this blog post, we will explore the multifaceted nature of self-esteem and provide evidence-based suggestions for nurturing and enhancing it, including the role of authenticity and taking risks. 1. The Bidirectional Relationship between Self-Esteem and Effectiveness Our self-esteem and our effectiveness in various aspects of life share a dynamic, bidirectional…

The challenge of being seen is that in order to be seen, we need to show our true, messy selves. The self that we aren’t sure others would find acceptable, the one we tell ourselves others might reject or dismiss would need to be shown. Showing up in an authentic, imperfect way is a practice for me. I can be so edited it is like my face becomes one with the mask at times – the mask of perfectionism, of not risking saying the “wrong” thing. It takes repeated effort to chip away at the mask, take risks in small ways with emotionally safe people to trust that its safe out there to be myself…

To say these times are challenging is an understatement. We are facing the complexity of a pandemic, political unrest, socio-economic uncertainty, and a diverse set of other related stressors all at the same time. Many of the associated life changes have been out of our control. Increased discomfort and anxiety are a normal response to lack of control and certainty! So, how are you responding? Here’s a few things that will build resilience and help you not only respond to stressors with a greater degree of strength, but also with a sense of personal growth. Resilience is the ability to cope…

Recently when I was doing some continuing ed, I was reading an article on Shame and Humiliation in relationship to childhood abuse. (If you want to know: It was published in the Journal of Trauma & Dissociation by the ISSTD and written by Martin Dorahy in 2017.) It was quite a fascinating read, I must say! It showed clearly the difference between experiencing shame and humiliation especially in relation to abuse. And it was quite eye-opening the difference. Dorahy makes the difference this way: "In shame, the self is the failure and others may reject or be critical of this exposed, flawed self…