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Grief: Simple But Not Easy

October 15th, 2019

Exploring ways to deal with loss When we lose something significant to our life, it is usually followed by grief and while grief’s start point is definite – at that point of loss, or the anticipation of the loss – the end point is nebulous. It may be this uncertain end point that contributes to the pain of grief and the fact that it is a process everyone goes through.

Do you find yourself repeatedly experiencing familiar unpleasant roadblocks in a relationship?

September 14th, 2019

Cynthia was determined this time that she was going to approach her new relationship differently, In the past her partners tended to disappoint her by "not stepping up" and fully participating in the relationship. On paper Bill seemed to be different, he had a good job, was outdoorsy and had a nice smile. Gradually though Cynthia noticed that Bill waited for her to make plans without initiating anything. He also seemed to have a hard time making big decisions, and after not too much time had passed Cynthia found herself back in the drivers seat. 

What are your rules for living true?

Our belief systems are wide open when we are born. We develop beliefs about the world we live in during the early years in our family, then in school and our community. Our young mind is a sponge soaking up everything we notice, experience and imagine. Along the way through life our rules of living become more solidified and we believe them. 

How do you start and end your day and how does that decision effect your mood?

Our gadgets have become like second nature. Notice, do you automatically reach for your phone or tablet when you wake up and right before you go to sleep? 

My Partner Has Anxiety - How Do I Support Him or Her?

March 4th, 2019

Does your partner experience anxiety? Is your social life taking a hit because your partner has too much anxiety to even think about socializing? Do you worry when your partner is on emotional roller coaster? Do you want to be able to know what to do when her or she is having a panic attack? Partners of people with anxiety often say to me that they feel helpless when their partner struggles. They aren't sure what to do. Sometimes the things they try help and sometimes they don't.

Shame and Humiliation in Childhood Abuse

October 19th, 2018

Recently when I was doing some continuing ed, I was reading an article on Shame and Humiliation in relationship to childhood abuse. (If you want to know: It was published in the Journal of Trauma & Dissociation by the ISSTD and written by Martin Dorahy in 2017.) It was quite a fascinating read, I must say! It showed clearly the difference between experiencing shame and humiliation especially in relation to abuse. And it was quite eye-opening the difference.

The Truth About The Mid-Life Crisis (and how not to screw it up)

October 1st, 2018

As we near the age of 40, and take stock of our lives, many of us find ourselves feeling antsy…like we’re not quite fitting in our own skin. The fact is that we have never really fit in our own skin, but finally we are able to notice it. In my work as a psychotherapist, I have guided many people through the type of existential struggle that is common around this time. What I have found is that there are two directions people take when the inklings of discomfort begin: the first direction is to look inward, and the second is to look outward. 

How ‘small t’ Traumas are Affecting Your Daily Life

September 30th, 2018
In: Trauma

Do you ever feel anxious, or embarrassed when meeting a new person? How about when you drive over a bridge, or go on a plane, or when you sit in the passenger seat of a car – do you get a bit nervous? ALL of these experiences originate in a trauma! And more often than not, they are what we refer to as a ‘small t’ trauma (as opposed to a ‘big T’ trauma).

IBD and Mental Health

September 28th, 2018

Championing IBD Hand washing is not exactly the activity you'd picture indulging in if you wanted to win a gold medal at the Olympics. Yet, that's exactly what the British Cycling Team did at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. They hired a surgeon to teach the athletes to properly wash their hands, avoiding illnesses during competition. The team staff were utterly fastidious about food preparation. They even brought their own mattresses and pillows, so that the athletes could sleep in a familiar posture every night. 

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