I am going to say something somewhat controversial. We have very few needs in our relationships.  I might go as far as saying that we don’t need anything from our partner.   We need air to breathe and food to eat. This is the level of need. It is associated with our survival. Language is powerful. This is why when we use the word need to express what we want in relationships it has the energy of ‘must-have urgency’ behind it.  It is a demand. 

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable part of our daily lives. From the moment we wake up, we are bombarded with a myriad of responsibilities and demands, be it emails, client calls, household tasks, or caregiving. As a result, our sympathetic nervous system, responsible for triggering the fight-or-flight response, is constantly triggered, leading to feelings of overwhelm and short tempers. However, there is a way to regain control and find balance amidst this chaos – mindfulness.

In recent years, the Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, has provided valuable insights into understanding the connection between chronic stress, anxiety, and our body's innate response system. This theory suggests that our autonomic nervous system plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being. The theory is based on the notion that this system is dynamically regulated by our experiences and can greatly impact our mental health.

Internal Family System, developed by Richard Schwartz, a Marriage and Family Therapist, is a therapeutic approach that recognizes the presence of different parts within individuals, just like how different members exist within a family. The purpose of Internal Family System is to address and work with these various internal parts. In my therapy sessions with clients, I often utilize this approach to help them identify their internal parts and activate the Self, which serves as the leader of these internal family members (the parts).