Blog

A peer’s mantra reassures me as I grow in my counselling career: “Therapy’s a conversation — just a conversation.” Therapy is a conversation — except, given its emotional character, it’s not just “conversation,” is it? Sometimes, the “wrong” thing is said; maybe it’s some confusion, an irrelevant tangent by the counsellor, or a challenge to the client’s expectations. Such sticking points happen in ordinary conversation, don’t they? Yet in a sometimes-unfriendly world with so much misinformation, the stakes can feel higher in therapy. So, what makes such high-stakes emotional work possible…

On my website, I share the story of how I became a counsellor and how the roots of my career go back to elementary school! In this blog post, I’d like to share more details about what this career means to me, and why I believe I was meant to do this work. I will do so through the lens of gratitude, which this work and my clients continually inspire in me. The language I use here is poetic because I’m a poet at heart, and I tend to express the most meaningful experiences in my life in this way. I am grateful, firstly, for my use of empathy with clients. When I can enter into another’s frame of…

Usually, two is company, and there’s a crowd, except, in couples counselling, there’s always “a shadow of a third person,” a phrase of Esther Perel’s (Perel, 2016), in every couple’s problem, which, in family systems theory, is called an emotional triangle. Shadows can come from the past, often those of parents or siblings, when a partner unwittingly imitates them when emotions run high, just as a partner might have related to their family (or vice versa!) as a child. Sometimes, living people cast the shadow. Maybe the shadow is your child’s when your partner takes their side when they want…

You might be thinking, “What a strange name for a clinical practice!” If so, I wouldn’t blame you, especially if you’ve ever gotten off on the wrong foot with a crow! Please allow me to answer the obvious question, then: what’s so special about crows? Unquestionably, these birds are unusually temperamental, territorial, and even hold lasting grudges that seem absurd from our point of view. Still, despite these traits, crows are fascinatingly intelligent, have a long and complex history with humanity, and enjoy a positive reputation in some cultures. As someone who loves paradoxes, the paradox…