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Trauma does not always look the way people expect it to. For some people, trauma may be connected to a specific event. For others, it can develop through repeated experiences over time, including childhood adversity, difficult relationships, emotional neglect, abuse, loss, or prolonged periods of feeling unsafe. The effects of trauma can sometimes continue long after the experience itself has ended. You may notice anxiety, difficulty trusting others, emotional overwhelm, numbness, irritability, perfectionism, people-pleasing, shame, or a persistent feeling that you need to stay alert. As a…

Struggling With Self Esteem? Understanding the Parts of You That Do Not Feel Good Enough You can look confident on the outside and still spend a surprising amount of time wondering if you are good enough. Maybe you second guess yourself after conversations. Maybe you compare yourself to everyone around you. Maybe a small mistake can stay in your head for hours or even days. Maybe you accomplish something you have worked hard for, but instead of enjoying it, you immediately start thinking about what you should have done better. And sometimes you do not even realize how exhausting it is. You…

Do people call you a perfectionist? Are you not sure if that word fits? Often the work perfectionist connotes the idea of being "perfect." So, many people don't relate to the concept if they were not a straight A student. In theory, however, perfectionism falls under the "anxiety" umbrella. Just like OCD or tics or social anxiety are under that umbrella so is perfectionism. This is because perfectionism is a fear. It's a fear of failing. Clients don't often present in office for "perfectionism." What they are coming in for is unrelenting tension. Or dread at going to the office. Or, headaches…

Have you ever felt a prickle of irritation when your therapist asks, “How does that make you feel? Where do you feel that in your body?” If so, you’re not alone. Many people feel frustrated when therapy seems to focus on emotion instead of quickly “fixing the problem.” But from a somatic therapy perspective, emotions are not a distraction: they’re often the most direct pathway to healing, clarity, and lasting change. Although focusing on emotion may feel like a detour, it’s often the fastest way to understand why your feelings feel so distressing and what they are actually trying to…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

You may not know that September is Recovery Month. And if you love someone who is still actively struggling with addiction, you may wonder what that has to do with you. And that could be more than you might think. Every September, we celebrate people who have found their way out of addiction, honour the courage it takes to choose recovery, and remind people who are still struggling that change is possible. I know something about that journey. After living with addiction to opioids for 15 years, I am now nearly 40 years clean and sober. I know that recovery is possible because I've lived it…

Is your partner going through peri-menopause? Is your wife or partner tired, migraine-y or anxious? Is she no longer providing the kind of care you've been used to receiving? Is she speaking in a harsher way to you? Are you finding it challenging? You are not alone! Many of the partners I work with are bewildered at the change in their partner's behaviour when they start going through peri-menopausal changes. Unfortunately couples spend too much time suffering on their own before seeking help. If the changes are not understood resentment or other symptoms can build up in a relationship. Coming…

By: Christine Zitscher For anyone in recovery—whether it be day 1 or day 1000—we all recognize one major truth which is that it is nearly impossible to do alone and in silence. For me, this was a hard truth to accept. It is one thing to accept that I am an alcoholic but now I need to talk about it? No thank you! No one needs to know that I am a drunk who can’t control her drinking. I will quit drinking and everything will be fixed, right? Unfortunately, many of us who relapse discover that this is not possible. Addiction is an isolating condition; it keeps us apart from our fellows because we…