Are you ever faced with a decision that feels impossible to make? Most of us probably have at one point or another. Sometimes this difficulty in decision making is a result of competing values. For example, you have a big work presentation tomorrow and you really value work, but your kid comes home from school and had a bad day and could use some support and you also value your family. This decision requires you to decide which you value more. For some, making that decision may be easy, for others, it’s less black and white. 

There are plenty of reasons to feel anxious both on a global level, from pandemics and war, to personal reasons such major life changes and the pressures of relationships and daily life. At its heart, anxiety is based on a fearful prediction of the future. Fear is programmed into humans as a survival mechanism so we know that it serves a useful function. In a way we need anxiety – but the question is what about anxiety is purposeful and what about it is harmful?

J reported that he has been being harassed by his co-worker for the last two years as retaliation after a prior minor conflict. The patterns of harassment involve humiliation, intimidation, offensive behaviors and statements, spreading of groundless rumors, and so on. The bully tries to intimidate J by constantly giving J nasty looks and gestures as if he is going to hurt him, or waiting for J to fail at something so he can report it to the manager. J does not feel safe in front of the bully, as he is targeted.

Some of the biggest challenges we face on a day-to-day basis is communicating with others. It’s hard enough to be aware of what we are thinking and feeling, let alone communicating what that is effectively to others. When we are irritated, annoyed, frustrated, angry or enraged (all gradients along the spectrum of anger) it becomes even more challenging.