ADHD: What Not To Do

Living well with ADHD often has less to do with trying harder and more to do with letting go of habits that quietly work against you.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder affects how the brain manages attention, time, motivation and emotion. Most advice focuses on what to add: planners, apps, routines. But many of the people I work with find real relief when they stop doing a few things that keep them stuck. Here are eight common traps, and what to try instead.

1. Don't rely on willpower or memory alone

ADHD is not a willpower problem, so willpower is rarely the fix. Working memory, the mental "sticky note" that holds plans and reminders, tends to be less reliable with ADHD. Telling yourself "I'll remember" sets you up to forget.

Try instead: get things out of your head and into the world. Use phone alarms, a single visible calendar, notes by the door, and keys and wallet in one fixed spot. Let your environment do the remembering for you.

2. Don't call yourself lazy

Harsh self-talk makes ADHD symptoms harder to manage, not easier. Many adults with ADHD grew up hearing they were careless or "not living up to their potential." Over time, that criticism can turn inward and feed shame, anxiety and avoidance.

Try instead: notice the inner critic and swap judgment for curiosity. Ask "What got in the way?" rather than "What's wrong with me?" Speak to yourself the way you would to a good friend who was struggling.

3. Don't say yes to everything

Overcommitting is one of the fastest routes to ADHD burnout. Enthusiasm and impulsivity can make new projects, favours and plans feel exciting in the moment. Later, the pile-up leads to missed deadlines, stress and guilt.

Try instead: build in a pause. A simple "Let me check and get back to you" gives you time to look at your calendar and your energy before you commit. Fewer commitments, done well, beat many done in a rush.

4. Don't neglect movement, food and sleep

The basics have an outsized effect on focus and mood when you have ADHD. Many people with ADHD stay up late, skip meals when hyper-focused, or spend long stretches sitting still. Each of these can make inattention, irritability and restlessness worse.

Try instead: move every day, since even a short walk can lift focus and mood. Pair meals and snacks with protein instead of relying on quick carbs alone, which can help keep energy steadier. Set a regular wind-down time for sleep. These won't replace treatment, but they make everything else work better.

5. Don't live on your phone

Constant scrolling can scatter attention that's already hard to hold. Apps reward quick switching, which makes it tougher to settle into one task, and late-night screen time cuts into sleep.

Try instead: schedule screen breaks, turn off non-essential notifications, and keep your phone in another room during focused work and at bedtime.

6. Don't take someone else's stimulant or self-medicate

Borrowing a friend's or family member's stimulant can look like a quick fix, but ADHD medication isn't one-size-fits-all. The right type and dose depend on your health, your other medications and how your body responds. Alcohol, cannabis and extra caffeine can also seem to take the edge off, yet often make ADHD harder to manage.

If you take ADHD medication, avoid stopping, skipping or adjusting doses without talking to your prescriber. 

Try instead: keep track of what you notice, such as side effects, sleep and mood, and bring it to your doctor or pharmacist, so your treatment can be fine-tuned safely.

7. Don't measure yourself against neurotypical standards

The "right" way to work is often just the way that suits a neurotypical brain. Comparing yourself to coworkers, siblings or social media can leave you feeling behind, even when you're doing well on your own terms.

Try instead: find what works for your brain. That might mean body doubling (working alongside someone), short bursts with breaks, music while you focus, or doing tasks at unusual hours. Different is not wrong.

8. Don't try to fix everything at once

An all-new routine on Monday morning rarely survives to Friday. With ADHD, the excitement of a fresh start can fade quickly, and a big overhaul that collapses can feel like another failure.

Try instead: pick one small change, practice it until it feels automatic, then add the next. Progress that sticks matters more than progress that's fast.

You don't have to do this alone

Most of all, don't give up hope. ADHD is real, common and very manageable, and the right support makes a real difference. 

Counselling can help you understand how ADHD shows up in your life, quiet the inner critic, and build strategies that fit the way your brain works. It can also help with the anxiety, low mood or relationship strain that often travel alongside ADHD.