Are you getting burnt out by someone in your life?
Do you feel resentment towards them?
Are you exhausted?
Do you feel guilty for not being able to maintain a lot of contact with them?
Ask yourself this: Are you good at setting boundaries with others?
Setting boundaries with others is a healthy way to preserve a relationship. When we constantly go beyond our limit with others we end up feeling resentful and wanting to avoid contact. We stay on the phone longer than we'd like, or spend money we don't have on them, or always go over to their house.
Where did you learn that in order to sustain a relationship you need to sacrifice your own needs?
Come in and get curious about yourself. Learn ways to sustain a healthy relationship.
It's often a novel idea that if we stay within our limits, for example, by stating we have 10 minutes to talk, that we are helping not only ourselves but also the other person. How will they ever stop taking up so much space if we don't clue them in. Give others credit. They can adapt as long as we set boundaries in a relationship-focussed, loving way.
What's your alternative? If you keep going past your boundaries with them you'll eventually get exhausted and end the relationship or take a big break. There's another way: Come in and learn how to get your needs met whilst in contact with others.
Natalie Hansen, M.A., RCC