Why Understanding Your Anxiety Isn't Enough

If you are like many of the high-achieving people who find their way to my practice, you have already done a profound amount of work. You have read the books, perhaps spent years in therapy, and understand your personal history inside out. You know exactly where your patterns come from, and you understand your anxiety intellectually.

Yet, when evening comes, or when you are standing in a crowded room, you might still find yourself whispering: "I can’t turn it off," or "I am so tired of surviving." 

It is a deeply frustrating place to be—when the gap between understanding your anxiety and actually shifting it feels wider than ever. But there is a reason for this, and it has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong.

The Missing Step in Your Healing Journey

The truth is that anxiety is not a problem of thinking. It begins as a physical state of alarm within your body.

When your body enters a state of high alarm, your brain shifts away from rational, flexible thinking and into survival mode. Your amygdala—the brain’s emotional alarm system—takes over, and your cognitive brain actually shuts down access to logic. This means that in moments of peak overwhelm, you cannot think your way out of a physiological response. Trying to use logic to calm a pounding heart or tight chest is exhausting, because your nervous system does not speak the language of intellectual understanding.

It speaks the language of the body.

Your Body is Not Broken

When you are living with a racing heart, shallow breathing, and a mind that won't stop scanning for what might go wrong, it is easy to feel like your body is failing you.

But I invite you to look at this with soft curiosity. These intense physical reactions are not signs of a broken system. They are highly effective survival responses doing exactly what they were wired to do to protect you. Your nervous system hasn't yet received the physical signal that the storm has actually passed. It is still bracing for impact because it wants to keep you safe.

The goal of healing is not to eliminate this protective alarm completely. The goal is to gently teach your nervous system that it is safe to settle.

Signaling Safety Through "Somatic Brakes"

To turn off the alarm, we can bypass the overthinking mind and speak directly to your physical body. We do this by applying what I call somatic brakes—quick, physical tools that signal to your nervous system that the threat is gone, allowing your muscles and your heart rate to naturally downshift.

You can begin with this calming practice right now:

• The Butterfly Tapping: Cross your arms comfortably over your chest, interlocking your thumbs to form a butterfly shape with your hands. Place your fingers gently below your collarbones and begin tapping your chest in a slow, alternating left-to-right rhythm. This gentle physical movement is a form of bilateral stimulation. It helps the two sides of your brain communicate and integrate, signaling to your nervous system that the environment is safe enough to let yourself start to relax. As you tap, let your breathing slow down naturally. If distressing thoughts arise, you do not need to fight them—let them float by like storm clouds passing slowly across an open sky.

By giving your body small, physical anchors, you begin to widen your window of tolerance—that optimal space where you can think clearly and feel your emotions at the exact same time.

Healing is a gradual, compassionate process of welcoming your body back into the present moment. You do not have to have everything figured out today. For right now, let yourself take a slow breath. It is safe to let yourself begin to access a calm state.

With warm, compassionate, non-judgmental support,

Madeleine Sullivan, RCC, M.Ed.