Roma Palmer

Why would you want to work with me?
I definitely have the training to do the work…but what makes me good at it has more to do with my personal experience and personality.

Firstly I really want to hear your story: about your life, your relationships, your troubles. I’m really, truly interested. I know what it’s like to wedge myself into a corner and not be able to see my way out. It is a complete privilege for me to be trusted with your story and to help you find your way through whatever is troubling you.

As for my story, I grew up in an alcoholic family. My Dad has, and continues to engage in problem-drinking. This was confusing, frustrating and embarrassing growing up and I had no one to talk to about it. I talked to my Mom sometimes, but she was so embroiled in it all that it was difficult for her to be there for me. It was the secret that everyone knew. It wasn’t until I reached my twenties that I started doing some reading and realized that I was living in a ‘classic’ alcoholic family.

Then—whether as a result of my family situation or a bug dose of life, in my early twenties I ended up with depression. I lost my job and saw a psychiatrist for two years. I was on medication that I didn’t want to be on – but it did make a difference. It was a terrible, terrible time. I was so grateful to my psychiatrist for being a caring role model and immense help to me at that time. I still reflect on things he told me 20 years later.

Later on in life I found struggling in graduate school while starting a family and trying to figure out a work-family situation that was realistic was completely mind-blowing. Talking to other women in similar situations was helpful to a point; but each person’s situation seemed so different, it was hard to know what advice to take or what direction to move. I still find balancing work and family and trying to squeeze time in for taking care of myself a real challenge at times.

About a year and a half after my third child was born, my mother had a stroke. She recovered fairly well physically, but cognitively she had changed. That was really hard. I found myself grieving for someone who was standing next to me. It was strange and bizarre. My mother’s stroke was a huge shock as was her sudden death, in July 2013, over 6 years later. My world felt shaky and it took a long time to trust that the ground I was standing on would hold firm.

I do realize how fortunate I have been in my life: education, a career and a beautiful family. I always walk with gratitude in my heart. But like you, I have had some very challenging life experiences and I truly believe it is these experiences that help me understand and relate to my clients.

Where did I receive my training? What diploma/degree do I have?
I have a Master of Arts degree from the University of British Columbia in Counselling Psychology. I did my practicum with Addiction Services and I have been in private practice for over 15 years.

Which professional association do I belong to?
I am a member of the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC) with the designation Registered Clinical Counsellor. The BCACC requires their members to meet strict academic guidelines as well as adhere to their Code of Ethical Conduct and Standards of Clinical Practice.

What can you expect at the first session?
The first session is often an information gathering session. You may be asked for your family history, what you have done to address the issue in the past and what you hope to achieve through counselling. You will be asked what your goals are for the counselling process and what your hopes are for your future. The first session sets the stage for future sessions. That is not to say that there is no therapy in the first session. Clients often describe a great sense of relief at sharing their story and having a direction to help them move forward.

How long do I think you will need for therapy?
This is a question that depends on the issue or issues you bring to Counselling. Often by the time you get in touch with me difficulties have been going on for awhile. Often life has become unbearable. It takes time to get into a situation and it takes time to get out. Having said that, I find even coming for one session can be immensely helpful for someone who has been holding it together or keeping secrets for a long time.

How does confidentiality work?
In our sessions everything is confidential unless there is a concern of imminent harm to you or another, if your file has been subpoenaed for a court case or if current child-abuse has been revealed.

Who is my ideal client?
Someone who is motivated and open to change: whether an adult, a teen, a couple or family. People who are desperately seeking a better way to live their lives, a way that serves them and allows them to grow and accomplish more than their current way of being in the world.

What do I love most about the work? 
I love seeing my clients grow and change and feel better about their lives. And to live life more fully. When I see the spark come back, the bounce in their walk, the light in their eyes, well, it helps me walk a little taller. Most of all, I love seeing my clients regain their sense of self, and how relationships flourish when a change happens. I feel deeply honoured to be able to share in this process.