Sexual Preoccupation: How Much is Too Much?

“I’m worried that sex is taking up too much of my time.”;  “I watch too much porn and can’t seem to stop”;  “Seeking casual sexual partners has become my main focus”.   At times, it can feel like sexual thoughts are overwhelming and taking a toll on your everyday activities.  It is a good idea to consider evaluating the impact of your sexual behaviors on your daily functioning.  This is especially true when you or when others have expressed concerns about the amount of sexual activity that you are experiencing each day. 

People can become overwhelmed by Internet pornography, watching many hours of adult sexual content each day. 

People may engage in frequent casual sexual relationships with strangers. They may also pay strangers to have sex with them.  These activities involve taking risks including risking your personal safety as well as your health.

Others may engage in sexual activity when angry, sad, upset or bored in an effort to improve their mood or avoid facing personal problems.  This can lead to relying on sexual experience to cope with daily problems.

Talking about your sexual concerns is the first step to making positive changes in your life.  Finding a safe person with whom to discuss your sexual concerns, being honest about your sexual activities and creating a plan to change your sexual habits are important goals. 

Changing your behavior requires consistent observation, attention to the problem at hand and proactive goal setting.  Setting relevant, achievable goals and monitoring your success in achieving those goals is essential.  Having a plan and sharing your plan with others who can provide honest, objective feedback about your behaviors can also be very helpful in your efforts.

Ignoring sexual problems may appear like an easy solution but in the long run, it is best to address sexual concerns.  The goal is to establish a positive, healthy and balanced approach to sexuality.  There are professionals in the community to assist you in achieving this goal.  Seeking positive community resources is key.