We hear it all the time, “Kids are more of a challenge now than they used to be.” Therapists, like myself, are challenged by the demand to work with these “new” kids.
My colleagues sort of give me a hard time when I bristle about “indigo” or “crystal” children. I don’t know about these things, to me they are kids and putting labels on people is something I’m never in favor of. So, whether they are “indigo,” “crystal,” “ADD,” “SED,” or whatever—they are all special and do seem to be more challenging than ever.
“Why is this,” you ask? What I have learned from my clients over the past 15 years is that these children are much more clear about the level of integrity that they are willing to accept in their lives. I define integrity as consistency in word, thought and action. “But,” you ask, “What does that have to do with being a sometimes unbelievable challenge to parent?”
Ah, that my friends, is the true gift they offer us.
Let me explain. If you as the parent have a lower level of integrity than your child does (and admit it now, you do) your child will find this unacceptable and act out accordingly. By “admit it now” I mean when children are born, they come straight from source, knowing that they can be, do or have anything they want.
As grown-ups many of us have forgotten how amazing we are and have succumbed to a life lead by fear, thus we have a lower, sometimes much lower, level of integrity than they do.
When we were kids, acting out was often met with overwhelming shows of power by our parents—corporal punishment, etc—most of which would be considered abuse today. We don’t do that today and even when it is done—it doesn’t work. So, what to do?
Well, simply put, you, as the parent better be a living, breathing example of the utmost in integrity so your children will have something to respect. If you don’t deserve respect, you are unlikely to get much of it from these kids. I can remember cases, for example, in which a mother and father were unwilling to be in my office at the same time, even for the sake of their child. And you want him/her to listen to you?! No wonder the child was on a rampage of drugs, alcohol, sex, poor grades, etc.
If you are trying to teach your kids by saying, “Do as I say, not as I do” be prepared for a rocky adolescence. These children are determined to live according to their spirit knowingness; I believe we all were. The difference is that today’s societal norms allow them more freedom to retain their spiritual guidance, than in the past.
Their gift to you and our world is that you have to raise your level of integrity.
I believe parenting children today is very simple—if you walk the walk and are guided by your life force rather than fear, you will have an easier time with your kids.
I welcome your questions and comments.