My Relationship Journey: From Losing Myself to Becoming Whole

I thought I was slower to start dating and achieve relationship milestones than my friends and peers. I felt years behind in getting my first kiss, having a first boyfriend, having a serious relationship, getting married, and having a child.

While others celebrated years of marriage and had children graduating from elementary school, I was only getting started!

I felt defective and desperate to have a relationship that I thought would make me feel “good enough.” 

I wanted the coupled life so badly that I took whatever relationships came my way. I assumed relationships were always hard work, so I stayed in dysfunctional ones with the wrong people for far too long, lying to myself that I was happy.

Being with anyone was always better than being alone.

The problem was that I still never felt “good enough” inside; honestly, I felt worse.

After following this pattern for years, I almost completely forgot what I wanted, what was important to me, what I stood for, or who I was.

It took work looking at my patterns of co-dependency, including my lack of self-respect and self-love, and time with caring therapists to process and heal from past events in my life to get to a place of greater wholeness where I am today. 

I now have a new “friend;” myself.

I know I’m valuable whether in an intimate relationship or not. I exist as a whole person, not only in relation to someone else.

All parts of me are worthy of attention and care, including my beliefs, feelings, dreams, body, boundaries, and time.

I recognize when my inner wisdom speaks to me, and I listen. I’m patient in relationships, paying attention and evaluating what’s happening inside me while I get to know someone else.

I have faith in myself again.

My Gifts as a Counsellor

• Creating a Safe Space: I value creating a safe, non-judgmental, and compassionate space for you to grow, dig deep and be honest with yourself. You need to feel like you trust me and that I have your best interests at heart.
• Immediate strategies for relief: While our current problems almost always have roots in the past, we need help in the here and now to keep afloat. In addition to healing the roots of your pain, we’ll work on ways to help you get through your day-to-day life.
• Creative Exploration: Together, we’ll explore how events in your life, the core beliefs you took on, and the resulting values and patterns of behaviour have contributed to your current struggles.
• Courageous Risk-taking: I take a trauma-informed lens to our work to help you get unstuck from old patterns. Whether it’s EMDR, inner child work, CBT, teaching practical communication skills, or a variety of other strategies you practice to move forward in life, we’ll explore ways of being that invite a greater opportunity for joy, freedom, meaning, and connection. 

Counsellor Credentials

• Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology (Trinity Western University, Canada, 2010)

Additional Training

• Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) for Individuals with Sue Johnson
• EMDR Trained Practitioner
• Advanced training in Motivational Interviewing
• Coaching Training

Counselling Association Memberships

• Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) with the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC)

I look forward to helping you overcome your relationship struggles and move towards having the best possible relationship.