Borderline Personality Disorder, Intimacy Issues Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

Borderline Personality Disorder, Intimacy Issues

Borderline personality disorder, like all other personality disorders is a learned behavior pattern that is deeply ingrained and ongoing. It manifests as an inappropriate deviation from social norms and it is a stable behavioural pattern. Social performance is impeded by the subjective distress the person tends to experience.

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may to alternate between the extremes of devaluation and idealization, and form unstable but intense relationships. They may make frantic attempts to avoid imagined or real abandonment. There are two types of borderline personality disorders; the impulsive BPD is prone to emotional instability and poor impulse control.

Borderline personality disorder sufferers may tend to act impulsively, without paying attention to the consequences and they have a tendency to experience emotional outbursts and be quarrelsome.

Therapy can be beneficial for people with borderline personality disorder and there are some powerful approaches developed recently that bring great hope to those who would be diagnosed with this disorder. Unlike most family members and friends, a psychologist or counsellor has the appropriate training, as well as patience, to withstand the emotional crises the patient will experience over the course of the relationship. These episodes can cause tremendous damage to a person's interpersonal relationships, but a therapist has the skills to remain even tempered and optimistic and knows how to teach better coping skills. It is important to help the person with borderline personality disorder to develop helpful communication skills as well as the capacity to self-regulate emotions.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who offers therapy to address your borderline personality disorder issues you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Intimacy issues are common for people who fear vulnerability. Some people can become vulnerable in front of a few trusted friends, however, but when a relationship starts becoming too close, they feel suffocated. In this sense, the intimacy issues are seated in the fear of developing a deep and meaningful relationship with another person.

Two fears that are at the heart of intimacy issues, are the fear of abandonment (fearing the partner might leave them) and the fear of engulfment (fearing that they would lose themselves in a relationship), which sometimes co-exist. These fears, often rooted in childhood traumas, are often deeply entrenched in codependent adult relationships where they cause friction.

A therapist who works with people who have intimacy issues will first help you to learn to become comfortable with yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You will explore the complex past events that have created these intimacy issues and discover that those events don't have to cloud your present experiences.

This process is essential in discovering that rejection does not have to be a traumatic experience. Finally, you will learn how to set personal boundaries that will help you to avoid the fear of engulfment and to cope, should abandonment occur. While healing intimacy issues can be a challenging and somewhat painful task, the rewards are incredible.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses intimacy issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) has helped couples and family members to treat distressed relationships, depression and a range of other emotional difficulties. It is one of the most common treatments used in private counselling and psychologist practices, training centres and hospital clinics around the world.

The main goal of Emotionally focused therapy is to create a secure bond between romantic partners and to reorganize and expand critical emotional responses. It helps to improve communication between partners, which is more beneficial to the relationship. EFT is a practical therapy that has been used successfully in relationships and marriages for many years, due to the fact that it creates a spirit of respect and harmony.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy generally only lasts between six to twenty sessions and has been shown effective in 90% of relationships.

If you are looking for a therapist who offers Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, please browse our list of practitioners below..

Note:  Some practitioners practice Emotion Focused Therapy rather than Emotionally Focused therapy.  You will want to confirm that it is indeed Emotionally Focused Therapy that the counsellor/psychologist practices.

Note: You may narrow your search by selecting more than one filter below.

Grant McMahon

M.C., RCC
I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC # 11135) and psychotherapist working in Vancouver.  I can help you if you are struggling with low mood, depression, anxiety/panic, or problems in your marriage or intimate... Read more

Al Zwiers

M.S.W., RSW
I am a Registered Social Worker in BC, and have a Master of Social Work degree with additional training in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Narrative Therapy, EMDR and Gottman Method for... Read more

Lyne Piche

Ph.D., R.Psych
    • Article(s) on profile
Dr. Lyne Piché is a Registered Psychologist working in South Surre, BC. Her services are offered in both French and English. She has many years experience working with people who have sexual difficulties, sexual... Read more

Balraj Singh

M.C., RCC
    • Online booking
Hello and Welcome! Finding the right counsellor is not an easy task but it is an important one. The stressors of our everyday lives can become tough to handle thus I hope to share a collaborative path which will help... Read more
    • Online booking
Starting with a new therapist, whether you’re new to counselling or a more experienced client, takes a lot of courage. With that courage also comes the discomfort of exploring some of the impactful and painful... Read more

Kirsten Reid

M.A., RCC
    • Online booking
Would you like help to find some relief and an overall sense of lightness? Whether you believe your life challenges to be major or minor ones, including a specific event or a reoccurring problem pattern that you... Read more

Andrea Johnson

M.S.W., RSW
    • Online booking
I specialize in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and work with couples, family members, and individuals who want to break free from negative patterns of interaction, heal, and build resilience. When one feels... Read more

Marilee Sigal

Psy.D., RCC
Unfortunately, I am unable to absorb any new clients at this time.  Our relationships with our parents, siblings, friends, lovers, spouses and children can be our greatest source of joy, and also provide our... Read more

Andrea Zimmering

M.C., RCC
    • Online booking
I come to this line of work passionate about providing support to individuals seeking change and growth. I strive to show up with integrity in my work and ensure that my clients feel seen, heard, and safe to show up... Read more

Mary Munro

M.A., RCC
I can help. I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor practicing in Vic West, close to downtown.  Counselling can help you function better.  You may feel calmer and more effective, or find insights, meet... Read more

Isabella Jiang

M.A., RCC
As a bilingual counsellor fluent in both English and Chinese, I offer a unique perspective that bridges Western and Chinese cultures to help clients discover their unique identities. My counselling approach is... Read more

Jyoti Gill

M.A., RCC
I believe that we ALL have the power to heal ourselves. This means that this power resides in YOU too. If that’s hard to believe, I hope that you will grant yourself the opportunity to discover it. In our work... Read more

Tanya Elez

Ph.D., R.Psych
Dr. Tanya Elez is a Registered Psychologist and a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who sees clients at her office in New Westminster downtown. She offers counselling services to diverse couples,... Read more

Joelle Lazar

M.A., RCC
I love my work, and am passionate about helping people have more joy and fulfillment in their lives and relationships! I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor with extensive training and experience providing... Read more

Mary Kwan

M.Sc., RCC
Whether you are feeling depressed anxious, wanting to talk to someone, or to work out your inner issues so that you can be a happy person, I am here to help. Feeling stuck in your family relations, you can still live... Read more

Bob Bircher

M.A., RCC
    • Online booking
Bob is a very experienced counsellor and has spent his working life helping people solve problems, make good decisions, set necessary boundaries, and improve communication. His counselling philosophy is very practical,... Read more

Chelsea Stenner

M.A., RCC
    • Online booking
I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (#15201) and a Canadian Certified Counsellor (#10002791). I have a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. The first thing I want you to know... Read more

Jill Sweetable

MCP, RCC
    • Online booking
My goals as a therapist are to provide an inclusive and safe environment during an individual’s most trying times. As an empathic and compassionate person, I aim to walk with clients, not lead them on their... Read more

Erica Beauchamp

M.Ed., RCC
    • Video on profile
    • Online booking
Counselling is a Smart Investment in Yourself From time to time, we reward ourselves with a treat-a cup of coffee, a new electronic gadget, a massage, perhaps a new watch or clothing. However, we often forget the... Read more

Teesha Morgan

M.A., CCC
Dr. Teesha Morgan is a Psychotherapist, published author, adjunct professor, and co-founder of the Westland Academy of Clinical Sex Therapy and Westland Therapy Group. Dr Morgan specializes in Sex Therapy and Couples... Read more

Stephen Marcus

M.S.W., RCSW
    • Online booking
Do you struggle with a challenging relationship that affects your ability to feel seen, heard, and validated? Do you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and lost by consistent arguing, defensiveness, and lack of closeness in... Read more

Peter Vaughan

M.A., RCC
Certified Gottman Method Therapist, Peter frequently addresses couples communication during conflict, restoring fidelity and commitment, or building intimacy and sexuality. Other common issues: ongoing incompatibilities... Read more
Together we can work through what is holding you back from having the life you hope for. I believe this is worth doing at any age, and any stage of life or relationship. It is never too late to find out who you... Read more

Claire DeBoer

M.A., RCC
    • Online booking
Do you feel like you and your partner can't communicate without conflict? Are you stuck in a cycle where you try to connect and they shut down and pull away? These patterns are normal in long-term... Read more

Danielle Bowersock

M.A., RCC
    • Blog on profile
As a Registered Clinical Counsellor, I can help if you are stressed, anxious or depressed. At their extreme, anxiety and depression can be crippling, making you feel hopeless. Life becomes a struggle and your... Read more

Michal Regev

Ph.D., R.Psych
Dr. Michal Regev is a Registered Psychologist and a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist. She has been counselling individuals, couples, and families since 1990, and has trained psychologists and counsellors in... Read more

Rachel Moxham

M.A., RCC
    • Video on profile
My relational and feminist approach to counselling emphasizes the mutual formation of people through their relationships. With it, I support you in finding your own self in the tangle of relations with friends, family,... Read more

Trevor Warren

M.A., RCC
    • Online booking
With over 30 years as a Relationship & Sexual Intimacy therapist, and supported well over a 1,000 couples, Trevor Warren Trevor has earned the reputation of "Relationship Expert" in the... Read more

Clara Morgan

M.S.W., RSW
Clara is an RSW and an RCC.  She is a therapist who provides a safe, non-judgmental, and LGBTQIA2S+ affirming space for all of her clients to share and explore their stories. She is compassionate and... Read more

Sara Kammerzell

M.Ed., RCC
    • Online booking
For over twenty years, Sara has helped people grow through turbulent times in their lives so that they can reclaim their full vitality and live the life they were born to live.  She strives to connect with... Read more