Intimacy Issues, Marriage and/or Relationship Issues Shame Counselling & Therapy

Intimacy Issues, Marriage and/or Relationship Issues

Intimacy issues are common for people who fear vulnerability. Some people can become vulnerable in front of a few trusted friends, however, but when a relationship starts becoming too close, they feel suffocated. In this sense, the intimacy issues are seated in the fear of developing a deep and meaningful relationship with another person.

Two fears that are at the heart of intimacy issues, are the fear of abandonment (fearing the partner might leave them) and the fear of engulfment (fearing that they would lose themselves in a relationship), which sometimes co-exist. These fears, often rooted in childhood traumas, are often deeply entrenched in codependent adult relationships where they cause friction.

A therapist who works with people who have intimacy issues will first help you to learn to become comfortable with yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You will explore the complex past events that have created these intimacy issues and discover that those events don't have to cloud your present experiences.

This process is essential in discovering that rejection does not have to be a traumatic experience. Finally, you will learn how to set personal boundaries that will help you to avoid the fear of engulfment and to cope, should abandonment occur. While healing intimacy issues can be a challenging and somewhat painful task, the rewards are incredible.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses intimacy issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Entering into a relationship means merging your life with another person, understanding his or her flaws, quirks and beliefs. With marriage rates declining and divorce statistics set at 50%, it is clear that people are increasingly challenged by marriage and relationship issues, and many lack effective ways to address them. So how can we bridge the gap to understanding our partners better and enjoying romantic bliss?

Many factors affect the interpersonal relationship between two partners who are a couple and sometimes it's hard to see the cause of conflict or friction in a relationship. While some people find divorce to be the best or only option, other people speak to counsellors and psychologists  in a bid to try salvage the relationship.

Signs that indicate a need for couples counselling include poor communication in a relationship, affairs, living past one another, inability to resolve marriage of couples' issues, and acting out negative feelings. When divorce seems like the only option, or if a couple is staying together for the kids' sake, that's a sure sign that therapy is needed.

Therapists do not necessarily  believe that all marriages can be salvaged, but counselling can often help even some of the most challenged relationships.  Through talk therapy, the couple will discover again why they fell in love and what they can do to get back to that place in their marriage. They use a range of effective, proven methods to help couples in any situation to restore intimacy and move past the hurt and wounds to a safe and comfortable place.

The concrete tools used by marriage therapists provide guidance in a supportive and encouraging setting and empower clients to restructure their thoughts and emotions. It helps the couple to work with each other, instead of on one another, helping each individual to find the person he or she is at the core level and to build a happy union.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who works with  couples you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Shame Counselling & Therapy

There are a variety of approaches to address the issue of shame.  One of them is the Shame Resilience method is based on the research of Brené Brown, Ph.D. LMSW. 

Shame Resilience is the developed ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it.

Shame Resilience is about moving from shame to empathy- the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, because when we’re able to be tender with ourselves in the midst of shame we’re more likely to reach out, connect and experience empathy.

Other approaches, like Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems (CIMBS)  uses what is called a systems perspective that can address how an individual has learned to respond due to early trauma and or other developmental experiences.

Approaches to shame are not limited to the above.  There are many other therapies that address feeling.

If you do contact a therapist regarding shame issues please make sure that you ask them about their training in this area and choose a therapist whose approach makes sense to you.

 

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Dana Millar

M.Couns., CCC
Hello and Welcome! I'm Dana. I support individuals to overcome anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and poor body image and relationship/intimacy issues. I also have specialized training in PTSD and... Read more

Mary Kwan

M.Sc., RCC
Whether you are feeling depressed anxious, wanting to talk to someone, or to work out your inner issues so that you can be a happy person, I am here to help. Feeling stuck in your family relations, you can still live... Read more

Grant McMahon

M.C., RCC
I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC # 11135) and psychotherapist working in Vancouver.  I can help you if you are struggling with low mood, depression, anxiety/panic, or problems in your marriage or intimate... Read more

Danielle Peloquin

M.A., RCC
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    • Online booking
Are things out of balance? Tired of the same old patterns? Stuck? Taking care of mental wellness is like maintaining a vehicle. Anxiety, depression, relationship trouble and anger may mean it's time for a tune-up.... Read more
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Welcome to Healing Horizons Therapy! I am accepting new clients for both individual and couples sessions. I am currently seeing clients online and in-person. To let you know a little about me, I have a master... Read more