Divorce and/or Separation, Family Issues Shame Counselling & Therapy

Divorce and/or Separation, Family Issues

Breaking the vow of "till death do us part" and getting divorced has been listed on the list of top things that people fear. The end of a marriage can indeed cause incredible confusion, sadness, grief, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety and shame. Not only does the end of a marriage affect a couple, but also the children.

Issues that can cause a marriage to fail include criticism, lack of respect, defensiveness, and aloofness, to name a few. Dealing with these issues might save a marriage. Mediation therapy can help couples even before a divorce, when the signs of marital disintegration starts to show. Couples therapy is an excellent tool at that point in a marriage to see whether saving the marriage is a viable option, and if it's not, it can help them find ways to reach settlements, move forward, and co-parent in a healthy and constructive way.

For children going through the divorce of their parents, therapy is critical. While parents are facing the realities of divorce and the emotional trauma, they often don't have the time or inclination to help their children deal with their sense of abandonment, pain, loss or guilt. Children may even feel that they are to blame for their parents' problems. Therapy can help children to come to terms with these issues and find strategies to move forward in a positive way.

In the case where couples counselling is not an option, a therapist can help the person who was left behind deal with the grief from the divorce. Therapy is aimed at empowering the individual to overcome grief and negative emotions and to move forward as a single person.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses divorce issues you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Family and Systemic Psychotherapy uses the close interpersonal relationships between family members to help one another. The key to dealing with family issues is to help couples, family members or siblings to explore difficult emotions and thoughts in a safe manner. It helps each member to understand and acknowledge one another's emotions and allow them to express it safely, and in an effective manner.

Family therapy has been shown to be effective for people of all ages who are experiencing family issues or problems in their key systems (relationships) with people with whom they are close. It helps to build relationships and boosts the strengths and self-esteem of everyone in the system. Your family might need intervention if members have substance abuse problems, violent outbursts, if the family experienced a trauma,  if a close family member died or if the family is not functioning at its normal capacity.

This type of therapy enables people to work with one another, instead of on one another and enables families to talk about issues that are causing distress without disrespecting emotions. Instead, it invites engagement of the family members in order to support recovery.

Therapists who address family issues use a range of different approaches to bring about the best results. While group therapy will probably take place once weekly, where the family will all meet with the therapist, individual sessions might be required too. This provides a great supplement to the  family therapy work and is an ideal place for individuals to express their personal family issues that are hard to discuss in front of everyone.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who does family counselling you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Shame Counselling & Therapy

There are a variety of approaches to address the issue of shame.  One of them is the Shame Resilience method is based on the research of Brené Brown, Ph.D. LMSW. 

Shame Resilience is the developed ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it.

Shame Resilience is about moving from shame to empathy- the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, because when we’re able to be tender with ourselves in the midst of shame we’re more likely to reach out, connect and experience empathy.

Other approaches, like Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems (CIMBS)  uses what is called a systems perspective that can address how an individual has learned to respond due to early trauma and or other developmental experiences.

Approaches to shame are not limited to the above.  There are many other therapies that address feeling.

If you do contact a therapist regarding shame issues please make sure that you ask them about their training in this area and choose a therapist whose approach makes sense to you.

 

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Karen Goble

M.A., RCC
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