Depression, Intimacy Issues Shame Counselling & Therapy

Depression, Intimacy Issues

Depression is the most common psychological condition, and most people experience it at one point or another in their lives.

Symptoms of depression include lethargy, low self esteem, a feeling of sadness, helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety, dysphoric mood and even suicidal thoughts. People who are depressed usually feel a lack of energy and a lack of pleasure and they may be agitated or irritable.

Since there are so many causes to depression, which boils down to a natural response to life experiences (a defence mechanism), each situation warrants a thorough investigation into the exact catalyst. Depending on what causes a specific incidence of depression, a treatment plan can be developed to help the individual deal with his or her emotions.

Some people are predisposed to depression in that it can run in the family. In many cases, it is learned when someone is constantly exposed to it.

Counselling can help a person to adapt to life changes that are causing grief, particularly with bereavement or marital issues. Systemic therapy is helpful in family therapy, where the efforts of the whole family can help the individual. Psychodynamic therapy helps a person to find the hidden psychological defences that cause problems to manifest. Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on the problem at hand, providing solutions to day-to-day issues and finding ways to restructure negative thought patterns.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who has training and experience in depression counselling you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Intimacy issues are common for people who fear vulnerability. Some people can become vulnerable in front of a few trusted friends, however, but when a relationship starts becoming too close, they feel suffocated. In this sense, the intimacy issues are seated in the fear of developing a deep and meaningful relationship with another person.

Two fears that are at the heart of intimacy issues, are the fear of abandonment (fearing the partner might leave them) and the fear of engulfment (fearing that they would lose themselves in a relationship), which sometimes co-exist. These fears, often rooted in childhood traumas, are often deeply entrenched in codependent adult relationships where they cause friction.

A therapist who works with people who have intimacy issues will first help you to learn to become comfortable with yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You will explore the complex past events that have created these intimacy issues and discover that those events don't have to cloud your present experiences.

This process is essential in discovering that rejection does not have to be a traumatic experience. Finally, you will learn how to set personal boundaries that will help you to avoid the fear of engulfment and to cope, should abandonment occur. While healing intimacy issues can be a challenging and somewhat painful task, the rewards are incredible.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses intimacy issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Shame Counselling & Therapy

There are a variety of approaches to address the issue of shame.  One of them is the Shame Resilience method is based on the research of Brené Brown, Ph.D. LMSW. 

Shame Resilience is the developed ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it.

Shame Resilience is about moving from shame to empathy- the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, because when we’re able to be tender with ourselves in the midst of shame we’re more likely to reach out, connect and experience empathy.

Other approaches, like Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems (CIMBS)  uses what is called a systems perspective that can address how an individual has learned to respond due to early trauma and or other developmental experiences.

Approaches to shame are not limited to the above.  There are many other therapies that address feeling.

If you do contact a therapist regarding shame issues please make sure that you ask them about their training in this area and choose a therapist whose approach makes sense to you.

 

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Mary Kwan

M.Sc., RCC
Whether you are feeling depressed anxious, wanting to talk to someone, or to work out your inner issues so that you can be a happy person, I am here to help. Feeling stuck in your family relations, you can still live... Read more

Julia Hewko

M.C., RCC
    • Online booking
Hello, my name is Julia, and I am a Counsellor helping clients with a variety of challenges, such as anxiety, depression, grief and loss, trauma, life transitions, parenting support, postnatal mental health,... Read more

Grant McMahon

M.C., RCC
I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC # 11135) and psychotherapist working in Vancouver.  I can help you if you are struggling with low mood, depression, anxiety/panic, or problems in your marriage or intimate... Read more