Marriage and/or Relationship Issues Shame Counselling & Therapy

Marriage and/or Relationship Issues

Entering into a relationship means merging your life with another person, understanding his or her flaws, quirks and beliefs. With marriage rates declining and divorce statistics set at 50%, it is clear that people are increasingly challenged by marriage and relationship issues, and many lack effective ways to address them. So how can we bridge the gap to understanding our partners better and enjoying romantic bliss?

Many factors affect the interpersonal relationship between two partners who are a couple and sometimes it's hard to see the cause of conflict or friction in a relationship. While some people find divorce to be the best or only option, other people speak to counsellors and psychologists  in a bid to try salvage the relationship.

Signs that indicate a need for couples counselling include poor communication in a relationship, affairs, living past one another, inability to resolve marriage of couples' issues, and acting out negative feelings. When divorce seems like the only option, or if a couple is staying together for the kids' sake, that's a sure sign that therapy is needed.

Therapists do not necessarily  believe that all marriages can be salvaged, but counselling can often help even some of the most challenged relationships.  Through talk therapy, the couple will discover again why they fell in love and what they can do to get back to that place in their marriage. They use a range of effective, proven methods to help couples in any situation to restore intimacy and move past the hurt and wounds to a safe and comfortable place.

The concrete tools used by marriage therapists provide guidance in a supportive and encouraging setting and empower clients to restructure their thoughts and emotions. It helps the couple to work with each other, instead of on one another, helping each individual to find the person he or she is at the core level and to build a happy union.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who works with  couples you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Shame Counselling & Therapy, Emotion Focused Therapy

There are a variety of approaches to address the issue of shame.  One of them is the Shame Resilience method is based on the research of Bren√© Brown, Ph.D. LMSW. 

Shame Resilience is the developed ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it.

Shame Resilience is about moving from shame to empathy- the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, because when we’re able to be tender with ourselves in the midst of shame we’re more likely to reach out, connect and experience empathy.

Other approaches, like Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems (CIMBS)  uses what is called a systems perspective that can address how an individual has learned to respond due to early trauma and or other developmental experiences.

Approaches to shame are not limited to the above.  There are many other therapies that address feeling.

If you do contact a therapist regarding shame issues please make sure that you ask them about their training in this area and choose a therapist whose approach makes sense to you.

 

Note:  Some practitioners practice Emotionally Focused Therapy rather than Emotional Focused therapy.  You will want to confirm that it is indeed Emotion Focused Therapy that the counsellor/psychologist practices.  

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Carol Siebert

M.Ed., RCC
The Japanese tradition of repairing broken pottery with gold is done with wisdom, knowledge, patience and skill. Once restored, the item will become more beautiful and valuable then the original piece. That is what... Read more

Paula Bude

M.Ed., RCC
Paula Bude (MEd., C.C.C., R.C.C., C.Hyp.) is asking you to consider: "what if this imperfect moment is the gateway into everything I want?".  Therapy with Paula is an invitation to deepen... Read more

Matthew Beasley

M.Couns., RCC
Matthew is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) in the Province of BC. He leads from a belief that every individual has an innate capacity to heal and grow. Matthew offers an opportunity when people feel stuck... Read more