Intimacy Issues, Perfectionism Psychoanalytic Therapy

Intimacy Issues, Perfectionism

Intimacy issues are common for people who fear vulnerability. Some people can become vulnerable in front of a few trusted friends, however, but when a relationship starts becoming too close, they feel suffocated. In this sense, the intimacy issues are seated in the fear of developing a deep and meaningful relationship with another person.

Two fears that are at the heart of intimacy issues, are the fear of abandonment (fearing the partner might leave them) and the fear of engulfment (fearing that they would lose themselves in a relationship), which sometimes co-exist. These fears, often rooted in childhood traumas, are often deeply entrenched in codependent adult relationships where they cause friction.

A therapist who works with people who have intimacy issues will first help you to learn to become comfortable with yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You will explore the complex past events that have created these intimacy issues and discover that those events don't have to cloud your present experiences.

This process is essential in discovering that rejection does not have to be a traumatic experience. Finally, you will learn how to set personal boundaries that will help you to avoid the fear of engulfment and to cope, should abandonment occur. While healing intimacy issues can be a challenging and somewhat painful task, the rewards are incredible.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses intimacy issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Perfectionism is considered as a personality trait among many mental health practitioners.  Perfectionists tend to view projects or tasks that are not perfect done, as unworthy. Unless they know that they can do something perfectly, they are unlikely to take it on. They tend not to care much about the learning process while completing a task, but rather about the end project, which, for them, is the most important aspect of any project they undertake.

Procrastination is a great obstacle with people who are perfectionists. They usually don't want to start a task until they are sure that they can do it perfectly. It's common for them to spend an enormous amount of time on a project, making sure that it is done to perfection. Yet, perfectionism prevents these people from appreciating a job well done. Instead, they don't believe that anything they do is good enough and they constantly compare their results with that of other people. They become fixated on achieving perfection.

There is a correlation between perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and some perfectionists also have OCD.  However, not all people with OCD are perfectionists. While most people with an ambition to succeed and therefore strive to excel in their pursuits, they are not necessarily perfectionists.

Therapy can be very helpful in treating perfectionism. Therapy will help the individual to reframe their thinking to change the end goal of his or her undertakings. A therapist may often help perfectionists recognize that some of the most successful people are not perfectionists at all.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who offers therapies to address your perfectionism or OCD issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

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Joanne Duma

Ed.D., R.Psych
** Please note that my practice is currently full and that I'm not accepting new clients at this time. ** Dr. Duma is a registered psychologist who completed her Doctorate in Counselling Psychology at the... Read more

Bradley Murray

Ph.D., RCC
    • Online booking
Dr. Murray is a psychoanalyst and Registered Clinical Counsellor based in North Vancouver who has been in private practice for 11 years. He offers consultations and therapy for individuals living on the North Shore and... Read more