Divorce and/or Separation, Perfectionism Online/ Virtual Counselling

Divorce and/or Separation, Perfectionism

Breaking the vow of "till death do us part" and getting divorced has been listed on the list of top things that people fear. The end of a marriage can indeed cause incredible confusion, sadness, grief, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety and shame. Not only does the end of a marriage affect a couple, but also the children.

Issues that can cause a marriage to fail include criticism, lack of respect, defensiveness, and aloofness, to name a few. Dealing with these issues might save a marriage. Mediation therapy can help couples even before a divorce, when the signs of marital disintegration starts to show. Couples therapy is an excellent tool at that point in a marriage to see whether saving the marriage is a viable option, and if it's not, it can help them find ways to reach settlements, move forward, and co-parent in a healthy and constructive way.

For children going through the divorce of their parents, therapy is critical. While parents are facing the realities of divorce and the emotional trauma, they often don't have the time or inclination to help their children deal with their sense of abandonment, pain, loss or guilt. Children may even feel that they are to blame for their parents' problems. Therapy can help children to come to terms with these issues and find strategies to move forward in a positive way.

In the case where couples counselling is not an option, a therapist can help the person who was left behind deal with the grief from the divorce. Therapy is aimed at empowering the individual to overcome grief and negative emotions and to move forward as a single person.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses divorce issues you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Perfectionism is considered as a personality trait among many mental health practitioners.  Perfectionists tend to view projects or tasks that are not perfect done, as unworthy. Unless they know that they can do something perfectly, they are unlikely to take it on. They tend not to care much about the learning process while completing a task, but rather about the end project, which, for them, is the most important aspect of any project they undertake.

Procrastination is a great obstacle with people who are perfectionists. They usually don't want to start a task until they are sure that they can do it perfectly. It's common for them to spend an enormous amount of time on a project, making sure that it is done to perfection. Yet, perfectionism prevents these people from appreciating a job well done. Instead, they don't believe that anything they do is good enough and they constantly compare their results with that of other people. They become fixated on achieving perfection.

There is a correlation between perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and some perfectionists also have OCD.  However, not all people with OCD are perfectionists. While most people with an ambition to succeed and therefore strive to excel in their pursuits, they are not necessarily perfectionists.

Therapy can be very helpful in treating perfectionism. Therapy will help the individual to reframe their thinking to change the end goal of his or her undertakings. A therapist may often help perfectionists recognize that some of the most successful people are not perfectionists at all.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who offers therapies to address your perfectionism or OCD issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Online/ Virtual Counselling, Shame Counselling & Therapy

Online Counselling or Online Internet Psychotherapy uses common technology to create major shifts in clients' emotional health. It is suitable to clients who wish to enjoy therapy from the comfort of their own homes, and therapists have noticed an increase in patients seeking help using this medium.

In order to attend online counselling sessions, clients and the therapist need access to fast internet connections and webcams. Online counselling is particularly useful for clients who can't leave home, or live far away from a therapist.

While online counselling is effective for helping with anxiety and other emotional conditions, it does not replace medical assistance in emergencies.

If you are looking for a therapist who offers Online Counselling, please browse our list of practitioners below..

There are a variety of approaches to address the issue of shame.  One of them is the Shame Resilience method is based on the research of Brené Brown, Ph.D. LMSW. 

Shame Resilience is the developed ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it.

Shame Resilience is about moving from shame to empathy- the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, because when we’re able to be tender with ourselves in the midst of shame we’re more likely to reach out, connect and experience empathy.

Other approaches, like Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems (CIMBS)  uses what is called a systems perspective that can address how an individual has learned to respond due to early trauma and or other developmental experiences.

Approaches to shame are not limited to the above.  There are many other therapies that address feeling.

If you do contact a therapist regarding shame issues please make sure that you ask them about their training in this area and choose a therapist whose approach makes sense to you.

 

Karen Goble

M.A., RCC
I’m a psychotherapist (MA, RCC) who offers therapy with heart. I’m committed to helping my clients learn how to move courageously beyond shame and self-defeat, and towards wholeheartedness, vulnerability,... Read more