Infidelity, Intimacy Issues EMDR

Infidelity, Intimacy Issues

Infidelity affects many relationships every year, and unless a couple works through the situation, could spell the end of a relationship. In cases where couples decide to work through the issues of infidelity, there is often a lot of strain on the relationship and therapy can help to create a fresh start.

In recent decades, extramarital affairs have become very common and couples vow to love and be faithful till death do us part, keeping that promise is a rare occurrence. While this is a small consolation, it can help to remove some of the shame the victim of infidelity may feel. However, a partner's affair is not a sign of failure on the part of the victim.

Sometimes, the other partner may be completely surprised to learn of a partner's infidelity and it can leave that person feeling shocked, devastated, confused, betrayed, aggrieved, alone and jealous. The end of a relationship can be a huge adjustment, and many people seek therapy to help them heal, recover and move forward with their lives.

Choosing to continue with the relationship after an affair is a noble choice, provided the cheating partner intends to follow through and make some important changes. A therapist will gladly help the couple to work towards their goal by helping them to explore and express their emotions in a safe space. An important starting point in dealing with infidelity is to assess each partner's level of commitment to the relationship, and to verbalize it. Therapy will help the couple to develop strategies for repairing trust and to foresee potential pitfalls, and develop strategies to avoid any habits and temptations for future failure.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who offers couples counselling to address your or your partner's infidelity issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.
 

Intimacy issues are common for people who fear vulnerability. Some people can become vulnerable in front of a few trusted friends, however, but when a relationship starts becoming too close, they feel suffocated. In this sense, the intimacy issues are seated in the fear of developing a deep and meaningful relationship with another person.

Two fears that are at the heart of intimacy issues, are the fear of abandonment (fearing the partner might leave them) and the fear of engulfment (fearing that they would lose themselves in a relationship), which sometimes co-exist. These fears, often rooted in childhood traumas, are often deeply entrenched in codependent adult relationships where they cause friction.

A therapist who works with people who have intimacy issues will first help you to learn to become comfortable with yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You will explore the complex past events that have created these intimacy issues and discover that those events don't have to cloud your present experiences.

This process is essential in discovering that rejection does not have to be a traumatic experience. Finally, you will learn how to set personal boundaries that will help you to avoid the fear of engulfment and to cope, should abandonment occur. While healing intimacy issues can be a challenging and somewhat painful task, the rewards are incredible.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who addresses intimacy issues, you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

EMDR, Observed Experiential Integration (OEI)

EMDR, also known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy uses a range of processes to address the full clinical situation. Dual stimulation is one of the key elements and the therapist will use tools such as bilateral eye movements, taps or tones.

Reprocessing involves the client momentarily attending to triggers, past memories or anticipated future events, all the while focusing on the supplied external stimulus. Normally, the client will experience memory changes, new associations and insights. EMDR has been found to be incredibly useful for processing past and present trauma that can continue to impact an individual in many ways.

There are eight phases to EMDR treatment and the therapist will devise a treatment plan during the first phase, and equip the client with the necessary coping skills in the second phase. Phases 3-6 cover the actual EMDR treatment, described above. Phase 7 is about closure, while phase eight is all about re-evaluation of the process.

If you are looking for a therapist who offers EMDR Therapy, please browse our list of practitioners below..

Observed Experiential Integration (OEI) is an effective therapy for people who have experienced trauma, or who have negative thoughts and beliefs to eradicate. It is one of the quicker therapies for this type of issue.

Observed Experiential Integration (OEI) has evolved out of EMDR integrates the visual pathways and both of the brain hemispheres to reduce anxiety and trauma.

During therapy, the client covers or uncovers a single eye at a time, while following the therapist's moving fingers with their eyes. This exercise integrates the two brain hemispheres to allow information to easily travel through the sensory processors and emotional processors.

If you are looking for a therapist who offers Observed Experiential Integration (OEI), please browse our list of practitioners below..

Jesse Schellenberg

M.A., RCC
Jesse believes that each person has the ability to grow and change. He approaches counselling from a collaborative, empathic and supportive, client-centered basis, using a holistic biopsychosocial model. Jesse believes... Read more