I have found that one of the greatest hurdles that we need to overcome when making positive changes, whether it's couples, family, anger management or addictions issues; is naming the shame. Really it is about facing our own short comings and staring 'them' straight in the eye. If you are dealing with relationship issues, it is easy to say what you think your partner needs to change but can you voice and 'own' the fact that maybe you haven't been the greatest listener or have been selfish in your relationship. If you are are dealing with a family issue, maybe you are in a power struggle with your teenager and it is easy to say 'they' have an 'attitude' issue but can you voice that maybe you have had other personal priorities lately and you haven't had as much time to pay attention to your son or daughter lately. If you have had anger issues, it is easy to say that 'everyone' else makes you angry but it is difficult to admit that you have choices on how you choose to express your anger. If you can look at what your are most 'ashamed' of in any area of concern that you may have your are most likely one step ahead in resolving your issue or when entering a counselling session.